It's been an uber long time since I last posted.  So much has happened it's hard to sum up into a short entry.  I don't know where to start, so I won't.  For those of you I haven't seen or spoke to in an eternity, here's an update...

My Stats:
Name: hasn't changed
Sex: hasn't changed...i hope
Age: 22...although i feel 66
Height: 5"8
Weight: 180lbs
Location: toronto
Occupation: starving student
Year of study: 4th and final!!
Program: commerce
School: university of toronto

Currently loving:
Food: soon-doo-boo, kal-gook-su, and club sandwiches
Drink: pineapple juice, keiths, and water
Movie: dreamgirls and the wood
Show: rome and entourage
Sport: rockclimbing, squash, and sleeping
Bed: the floor
Electronic: not my cell
Clothing: commerce zip hoody
Restaurant: 7west
Bar: tobys and muze
Song: breathing & everything by lifehouse and follow through by gavin degraw

Looking forward to...
- going back to Niagara to see family, especially Hannah as soon as classes are done with.
- GRAD.Trip w/Kim and Fernando in May...visiting: Sze, Dale, Steve, Vic, and Uncle Mike.
- PGCV in September
- JDC Central in February
- Life

Btw, for thsoe who care, Hannah's grown up so much.  She is now 5 years old, half my height (well, almost), attending Sr.K., plays org'd soccer, can't stop talking in english, learning to speak/understand korean, learning to read/write mandarin, and as beautiful as ever.

An insomniac is a person who suffers from insomnia. Insomnia is characterized by an inability to sleep and/or to remain asleep for a reasonable period. Insomniacs typically complain of being unable to close their eyes or "rest their mind" for more than a few minutes at a time. Both organic and nonorganic insomnia constitute a sleep disorder.  It is oftenly caused by fear, stress, anxiety, medications, herbs or caffeine. An overactive mind or physical pain may also be a cause. Finding the underlying cause of insomnia is usually necessary to cure it.

i finally got a new computer!! !! looking back, i can't come to understand how i survived without...Benji and Jeff, if u guys even xanga, thanks for a great year...good times boys~ you two even supported my computer-less ass for an excruciating long period of time. if i've learned anything from my past on technology is not to touch anything. i'm prone to damaging any sort of *#$*dk39&*$ uh oh...*#dj*#33 laptop dying.....lol jk.....yes i know how cheese that was. damnit, now i lost my train of thought.

hm, so yeah, the top paragraph? nothing to worry about, i don't have insomnia.....i don't think....my sleeping patterns have just been extremely unbalanced these past few weeks. i looked further into why a person may experience insomnia, but i couldn't find where i fit into the picture...i'm not stressed. i'm in a dark and quiet environment. i haven't had caffeine in atleast 12 hours. i'm not worried or scared of anything at the moment. i don't think i have any emotional problems. i'm not depressed. thus, there's no way i could possibly be experiencing insomnia. it's not that i can't sleep...i don't want to sleep. for some odd reason, i've noticed that i enjoy being awake at night being alone in silence...in stillness. the reason behind that? hahaha, maybe i'll share that when i figure it out myself.

it's funny how clarity is captured at the oddest moments...in the oddest places...doing the oddest things. 

tonight i was at this new coffee shop, around the corner from my house, friends cafe, it's been my 2nd home for the past week or so while i've been trying to study for finance and investments. predictably, i zoned out, sitting back in the corner, looking out at nothing but a grocery store and florist shop, i realized at some moment in time that i was softly speaking to myself.  immediately i stopped, thinking the owner (the only person indoors) would overhear and think i'm crazy. thing is, i wasn't speaking to myself. i was praying. and this is something some may view as unorthadox or against the "proper" ways, but i disagree. i'll admit it, i pray eyes wide open. i know the eyes wide shut is a widely practiced method to better focus, but i don't find that true. i find that looking at his creations and gifts while soaking in the moment really allows me to communicate what i'm really thinking...and how i'm truly feeling. anyhow, the point is that i haven't honestly opened up the communication channels with him in nearly 3 years. genuine prayer that is. some of you may have seen me, but i'm sorry to say that those were of rocky times. i was super weak and gasping for any last chance. tonight was different. tonight light was shed into the shadows. tonight i got an answer. tonight i opened my heart. oh sweet clarity...

it's funny how clarity is captured at the oddest moments...in the oddest places...doing the oddest things.

find me here
and speak to me
I want to feel you
I need to hear you
you are the light
that's leading me
to the place
where I find peace again

you are the strength
that keeps me walking
you are the hope
that keeps me trusting
you are the life
to my soul
you are my purpose
you're everything

and how can I
stand here with you
and not be moved by you
would you tell me
how could it be
any better than this yeah

you calm the storms
and you give me rest
you hold me in your hands
you won't let me fall
you still my heart
and you take my breath away
would you take me in
take me deeper now

you're all I want
you're all I need
you're everything
everything.

  - Everything by Lifehouse.